Worth Serving?

I am terrible at accepting compliments or kind gestures. Ask my husband. He gets so frustrated with me. "Why do I even bother telling you you're beautiful? You just roll your eyes at me."  Last night, he just wanted to sit with me and rub my feet. I balked at the idea. "Why?" "Really, Jess? Just let me serve you." Reluctantly, I agreed. I have a good hub.


While he was massaging my feets, I started thinking...why do I struggle with this? My sweet husband just wanted to do something nice for me and instantly, I was on edge. What is wrong with me?  I reflected on it awhile and started thinking about other areas in my life where this is true. I feel guilty when my coworkers do something for me, even if it's a part of their job! I will just try to do everything so I won't "bother" them or create more work for them. In serving at church, I've often been guilty of forging ahead with projects or ministries without asking for help.


Am I just a control-freak? Is it a pride thing? Maybe.  I think it's deeper than that...I think I struggle with feeling worthy of being served. Self-worth is such a dangerous thing though. Our culture feeds us all of this stuff about "self"-esteem. You are good enough, you can do it! Work harder, be more, botox this, buy this and you'll be perfect! So all our lives we strive and strive to be good enough, to be worthy of what? The admiration of others? More money? More power? What? What are we striving for??


Our worth can't come from ourselves. It's not from our jobs, our attractiveness, our social status, our children, our spouses, etc...It's from Christ. My worth is in the one who rescued me. He saved me from myself. When I won't let my husband or others serve me, I have an identity problem. I'm not believing the truth that I am a child of a holy God.


We are worth serving. We are created beings, created in the image of the one and only God...Genesis 1:27 So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.  Claim it.  Psalm 139: 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.   When I disregard family or friends' attempt to serve me, I'm not allowing them to serve our God, essentially. I'm telling God, your creation is not good enough to serve. You are not good enough to serve.  And obviously, this must come from a humble heart. When I claim this truth, I can't become a selfish dictator who expects everyone to meet all of my needs or pay the penalty. Humbly allowing someone to serve me is giving them an opportunity to serve the One worthy of everything, Jehovah, the great I AM.  


Lord, give me a humble heart today. I pray that I may praise you with my life. I will accept the truth that I am made in your image and need to live that out day by day. AMEN.


Jess


May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14